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I promised Jackie Beat I wouldn’t post any of the videos I took of her FANTASTIC holiday show “Give ‘Til It Hurts” at Bourbon Street in San Diego on December 12th, until after her holiday tour ended. (We did agree on one I posted the day after the show.) Well folks, the tour was completed this past weekend in San Francisco, so yours truly is about to unload upon you several holiday gifts via the hilariously witty, somewhat twisted (in a very good way), and totally talented mind of drag queen superstar, Ms Jackie Beat. For those of you who haven’t heard of Jackie before, shame on you because I posted about her recently so that means you haven’t been a regular reader of this blog. Tsk-tsk. I will forgive you, though, and still share these little gems with you. Keep in mind that due to language and content they are TOTALLY for mature audiences only, and narrow-minded, homophobic, no-sense-of-humor folks also need not view. I’m sure those of you with such viewpoints can find some Jerry Falwell or Bill O’Reilly videos somewhere.

Here are a couple videos to tease you with, and quite honestly the most mild I can share on this blog. 😉 The first video is a prelude to the second, and shows precisely why I didn’t pop my hand up when Jackie asked who in the audience is straight. I know enough about Jackie’s equal-opportunity-offending sharp tongue to know that while its outcome is hilarious to watch, it’s not necessarily something I want to be on the wrong side of yet. The second video is Jackie’s version of “Silver Bells” titled “Go to Hell”–perfect holiday sentiment, no? (We’ll see what you say AFTER the holidays!) You can watch more of the videos here, then head over to Jackie’s web site to buy some CDs!

Okay, I gave you your gift, now where’s mine? 🙂

Jackie using a “straight prop” to set up “Go to Hell”

Jackie Beat-“Go to Hell”

I’ve been meaning to post the video clip below since becoming aware of it about a week or so ago, but this nasty cold has me being on the lazy side. The video is the product of the witty, irreverent, right-on-the-money, and totally talented drag superstar Jackie Beat penning the lyrics to this hilarious parody performed by Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr opening night (11/6/07) of the New York Comedy Festival.

For those who haven’t heard of Jackie Beat you really DO need to check her out. Mind you, she may not be your cup of tea (not for the faint of heart and definitely not rated G ;)), but I enjoy the daylights out of her ability (technically his ability, Kent Fuher) to create some insane, fantastically funny, and quite often politically-biting lyrics (as is evidenced with the lyrics below and with her thought-provoking blogs on her MySpace page) and belt them out donning some of the most lavish make-up, wigs, and outfits you’ll ever see. I’m hoping to catch the incomparable Ms Beat soon after finally getting my fanny moved up to LA. Enjoy!

Rosie and Roseanne “I Got You Bitch” at Lincoln Center

I GOT YOU BITCH!

lyrics by Jackie Beat

ROSIE: They say we’re nuts and full of crap
Just one false move and we are gonna’ snap!
ROSEANNE: We’re big & loud, well-known and rich
Girl, do the math, to men that equals Bitch

BOTH: Bitch! I got you bitch, I got you bitch

ROSIE: Gay marriage causes such a scare
But you’ve changed husbands more than your underwear
ROSEANNE: If adopting children is so divine
How’s about I give you some of mine?

BOTH: Bitch! I got you bitch, I got you bitch

ROSIE: We need healthcare for everyone
ROEANNE: And to bring home, every daughter and son
ROSIE: When you’re under attack, I will be there so fast
ROSEANNE: Girlfriend I’ve got your back, I’m prepared to kick ass!
ROSIE: And when your voice cannot be heard
Just stand your ground and give them all the bird
ROSEANNE: Cuz what good is a voting booth
If we can’t stand up here and speak the truth?

BOTH: Bitch! I got you bitch, I got you bitch

ROSEANNE: I call you when things ain’t right
ROSIE: But not too late it’s a school night
ROSEANNE: I read you my blog you missed
ROSIE: It’s half past two, my wife is pissed!
ROSEANNE: I needed you, you disappeared
ROSIE: Frankly Roseanne, this is getting weird!
ROSEANNE: There’s no need to be so rude
ROSIE: Here we go, another feud!

BOTH: Not with YOU, bitch!

Sniffin’ out the info

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